It’s April 20th and dear sweet Emma, you should be celebrating your 16th Birthday. You should be receiving a Hot Wheels car from us that would have made you mad. We probably then would be taking you to get your license and buying the other half of a nice car because you are so good with money and the best babysitter in the city.
It’s more than eight months later and it only hurts when I breathe or think. I just can’t believe that you are gone, but you really are gone. I miss seeing you every morning at 5:20 and driving you to early morning Bible study. I miss all of our car rides together. The rides to school, to practice, to tournaments and anywhere else you wanted to go. I miss you punching me in the arm and yelling Slug Bug. You actually had started to hurt me, but I wasn’t gonna let you know!
I miss coaching you from the stands even if I am not supposed to. I miss watching you play softball, it’s really hard this time of year. You should be having fun with your teammates and who knows maybe even starting on Varsity this year.
I miss you getting off the bus at the “Littles” school so you could see them, even if you did pretended to just want to get off the bus as fast as she could.
I miss your humor. I miss your sarcasm. I miss your kindness. I miss you pretending you didn’t like attention or other humans in your house. You were so good with the kids and they miss you so much, all of them, they all miss you. Yes, even Tucker and Paige.
We all miss you, so please stay as close as you can. We try to honor your memory the best we can, I hope you are proud of us. I hope that people remember you and what you stand for every time they eat a tootsie Roll or a pair of Converse, every time they hear a song from your playlist or a random act of kindness #forourEmma.
I wish I could write as well as Mom but I hope you get the message that we love you and think about you all of the time. I pray every day that we can feel you with us and ask Heavenly Father to let you watch over the Littles from Heaven.
Have a great Birthday Emma
Love Dad.
..you pretending you didn’t like other humans in the house. That part makes me laugh. It’s those little quirks that I miss the most and love hearing about. I love that you knew those things about her. You are an amazing dad and I know wherever she is she has to be proud of you.
God bless you and your family. Praying God will continue to be with you and comfort you.
Kathy in Illinois
my heart breaks for your family! Happy Birthday sweet girl Emma! Heaven has gained a beautiful Angel!!
My heart goes out to your and your family and I know your wounds are still very fresh…You were obviously a great dad from what you write about knowing your daughter, inside and out so very well! I know she is proud and even though your hearts are heavy, she IS in a wonderful place now, and helping out God with watching over you. I pray he sends you signs of comfort from Emily, as only he can do to give you strength…*Hugs* and prayers.<3
I would just like to say I used to follow your blog on a regular basis when I was couponing. After my second child I’ve barely had the time to do anything so haven’t followed but one couponing blog that has an app so I view it on my phone. Today I had a moment sitting in a parking lot with two sleeping kids and a moment to breathe with a mcflurry. And while on that couponing app I ran across a reference to your daughter #forouremma. The link sent me to this entry and of course brought me to tears. After wiping away my tears I thought what random act of kindness could I do for Emma and then there was a knock on my car window. A gentleman in a Burger King uniform wanted to ask me something. I rolled down my window, “m’am I don’t know if you can help me but I’m looking for some help you see I’ve been living out of a super eight for the last month with my kids and right now we’re short $17 to have somewhere to sleep tonight.” This was a sign, ” say no more, if you follow me over to the Kroger I can run inside and get you some cash as I carry none on hand.” His uniform was dirty and you could see his was wearing two undershirts both of which were old and torn. The Burger King was in front of the super eight and the Kroger was just across the street. I drove over to the Kroger, took out both kids and met him at the door. As I walked up to the door I could see him standing there, crying. I told him I’d be right back. Went inside, took out $40 and walked back outside to gave it to him. I told him to hang in there, things will get better soon as I too once lived in a motel six for a month when my husband and I first got married. He told me he had two girls, ages 7 and 3. He has a hard time finding work as he had a made a lot of mistakes in his younger years and no one would hire him because of his criminal history and was just thankful that Burger King took a chance on him. His wife just got diagnosed with cancer and can’t work. He couldn’t thank me enough. Just wanted to let you know that this was #fourouremma